Overlord Mao

( HERE BE SPOILERS )

無茶は承知の 魔王退治
僕は勇者 闇に魅入られ
なせか魔王に ミイラ取りがミイラ
天下無敵の不幸な運命 死神さえおののく
愛する人を守リたい たった一つの願いなのに
貧乏くじの プロフエシツヨナル
僕は勇者? それとも悪魔?
ロシアンルーレット　危険な賭け 百発百中
生まれ持った 運の悪さ
神樣のいたずら ハッピーエンド もうジ‧エンド
ピエロさえ笑わない 貧乏神も逃げた
愛する人を守れずに 冥府魔道に墮ちてく
不幸にかけちや 宇宙最高
僕はラッキーㄧ? 僕はハッピー?
月夜に吼える シキのないアンラッキー勇者

I concede that it's absurd / To eradicate an Overlord
I'm a Hero / Entranced by darkness
Somehow an Overlord / Has wrapped me up like a mummy
I am fated to an unequaled unhappiness / Even a reaper would shudder
I want to protect the one I love / But even though that's my only wish
I've drawn the short straw / Professionally
Am I a Hero? / Or am I a demon?
Russian roulette, a dangerous gamble / Every shot a bullseye
Ever since I was born / My luck has been bad
God's practical joke / "Happy End?" More like "The End"
Even a clown wouldn't laugh / Even the God of Poverty has run out on me
Unable to protect the one I love / I've descended down the path to hell
If you piled my sorrows / They'd reach space
Am I lucky? / Am I happy?
Howling in the night / A hopelessly unlucky Hero

Youtube links: 1 2

Mao is sad so he decides to walk over to the human world and blow it up (Disgaea characters can breathe in space), only his friends think that's a really bad idea so there are speeches and hugs, and it seems like it's all going to work out... and then Almaz keels over. Dark Mao makes his escape from Mao's heart, a battle ensues, and Mao ISN'T SAD AT ALL FORGET ALMAZ WHO EVEN CARES!!! >8|!!!!

WHAT HE LEARNED:

☢ He is SUPER PISSED at the Super Hero (whom he only knows in Sabra by a memory of his comic books; he's already blocking out what few clues he's had to the guy's real identity)
☢ I CAN'T TRUST ANYONE EVERYONE WILL BETRAY ME
☢ Screw off Dark Mao, nobody likes you. >8/
☢ ALMAZ IS DEAD!?!?!?! D8<

There were so many Super Hero feelings going on that they went and overflowed into a separate personality, and if he weren't already completely disdainful of any and all non-Bunnycorns, he would be now. Overall, though, he doesn't really have context for what's going on, so the Super Hero stuff takes a backseat to BAAAAAAWWWWWW ALMAZ.

I am loving this game except for how utterly short it is (I've already gotten half the endings after starting this MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT, and predict it won't outlast me the rest of the day, let alone the weekend). The writing is fantastic and hilarious, but I wouldn't recommend it for anybody whose Gay for Disgaea stat isn't at least in the upper 100,000s.

( No major spoilers, just spazzing )

The only important part of this post: I am clearly not playing Mao as enough of a skeev. >8|a

Appearance/mannerisms
☣ Mao is a filthy, filthy child. He never bathes. Apollo cleans his clothes, but he just dirties them right up again.
☣ He wears a spare shirt as a cape; lacking a spare shirt, he'll use a bedsheet.
☣ Ultra-tiny and visibly not human (pointed ears, red slitted eyes, sharp teeth)
☣ Cocky, stubborn, curious about everything. Easily excited in just about every way. Ultra-gullible when told what he wants to hear.
☣ His "huff huff" is actually a deeply disturbing, totally creepy, way-too-heavy panting. His glasses fog over and he may start to drool.

Common haunts
☣ Just Bunnycorn. He'll head out to gather specimens every now and then, but overall he's a complete homebody.

State of his room
☣ Two words: Survival horror.
☣ Loot: Tons of random organic material, with as many tentacles as possible (Super's still well-preserved); the Operation game; various books given to him by Judges; a thing to strap specimens to; some random science supplies gotten from Ophi; a whooooole lot of mold and otherwise growing stuff.
☣ ETA: Taiki's artistic interpretation

Daily Routine
☣ As a rule of thumb, he doesn't really have one. Mao does what he want, when he wants.
☣ Mao's sleep patterns are totally random. He'll sleep for days at a time or stay up for just as long. He can sleep anywhere but probably most likely to crash in Van's room.
☣ Most of his time is spent in his room, goofing off doing SCIENCE!!1
☣ Visits Monoceros whenever he wants food, laundry, attention, or to bully Almaz.
☣ PLOTTING AND ENACTING DESTRUCTION OF SWEETPEA!!11

Running into him offscreen
☣ Wouldn't happen! If I'm not out threading with him, he's bumming around Bunnycorn.

So once upon a time Mao decided to write a bunch of rules satirizing Hero's Oath and then actually live by them. Because he is a dweeb.

Here are some canon tenets of the Demon's Oath (the ones I remembered to write down, anyway):

☢ Demons must relish solitude!
☢ To fulfill one's curiosity, a demon must do an evil turn daily!
☢ A demon must commit acts of taboo to remain cool and popular!
☢ Demons must take every advantage they can!
☢ A demon must instill fear in as many humans as possible!

Some that I made up:

☢ Demons laugh in the face of personal hygiene!
☢ A demon must force his subordinates to sing his theme song in at least two different keys!
☢ DEMONS SHALL NOT SUFFER A BOWL CUT TO LIVE!

And some Sabra additions:

☢ Demons don't hunt their own lizards unless they feel like showing off!
☢ A demon needs no bracer!
☢ The right to bullying one's partner team is reserved for a demon alone!

Will think of more when I am more awake.

mao is full of stars
mao is faltering before a boy band
mao is mostly responsible
mao is an amiable man
mao is the golden sun
mao is worshiped as god
mao is good for us in terms of digesting our food for us
mao is no margarine communist
mao is the main character of cooking master boy
mao is a psychological study of a complex woman who became almost universally known as the "white boned demon"
mao is refusing to give away the recipe to international investigators

this one is my favorite:

mao is wholeheartedly in favor of learning through practical experience

Chapter One: Holy Fuck Mao is Awesome

I guess that's not the actual title but it is what the chapter is about. ENJOY.

I should probably wait until he's actually taken 'em, but oh well.

MEMORY 8: Power-leveling in the Corpse Eaters stage

The Disgaea games are all about mindless level-grinding, and Corpse Eaters is the name of the stage in Disgaea 3 that you can exploit to get your party from ~60 to 300-400 in a few hours. Mao now remembers those few hours.

WHAT HE LEARNED:
☢ His Blast Finger and Shine Beam attacks (also Vasa Aergun, but that one won't work in Sabra due to summoning rules). OR TO PUT IT MORE AWESOMELY, he learned how to shoot laserbeams from his hands.

MEMORY 9: Finding and capturing a Hero!

This is the "How he met Almaz" memory. Essentially, Mao screamed that he hated Almaz, knocked him out in one blow, and contemplated eating him. THE START OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP.

CANON RELATIONSHIP STATUS UPDATE:
☠ Geoffrey: Though even Mao has to acknowledge that he can't trust Geoffrey farther than he can throw him (5 meters), most of his memories involve the guy being super competent and convenient, and as we all know, Mao can't tell the difference between attention and affection. All-in-all, he's starting to really miss the old bastard. I know no one will ever app him, but I can dream. Dream of the jagged pieces into which he would crush Mao's black little heart.

☠ Raspberyl: Though her self-introduction was rather redundant to him at the time (he's known her since childhood), it turned out pretty convenient in retrospect, because this one memory alone tells him exactly who she is and why he has a grudging respect for her. >8|a Well-played, Beryl. WELL-PLAYED.

☠ Almaz: This memory doesn't do a thing to his relationship with Almaz. Zip. When Mao's friendship has been won, it's virtually impossible to get rid of, no matter how hard you try. He doesn't even really need to justify it with "WELL YOU'RE A DEMON SO IT'S OKAY" because how can he hate Heroes when Zack is one? THAT'S JUST DUMB. AND MAO ISN'T DUMB, HE'S WAY TOTALLY SMARTER THAN ALL OF YOU PUT TOGETHER >8O!! So yes. Still loev Almaz.

Nothing exciting or plot-related here! Mao remembered buying some ice magic from the Evillities ninja. In my game he never used it because why the hell would I have Mao use magic when a) it's a bitch to learn non-class-innate magic in Disgaea 3 and b) all of his unique skills are attack-based? I mean seriously, Disgaea 3, did you give him that INT stat specifically to mock me? BUT I DIGRESS.

WHAT HE LEARNED:
☣ A skill that he can surely use for evil >8)

No emotional change, but Mao will be excited to dick around with magic. The Lepus dorm may be a little chilly for awhile. As well as anyone else's he decides to go near.

Youtube link!

Inside of Mao's heart, Sapphire is playing around and finds a repressed memory about his butler Geoffrey experimenting on him (Disgaea 3 is too low-budget for cut-scenes, but "experimenting" seems to involve drills, loud banging, drugs, and newt hiccups). After watching the memory, Mao states that it's normal for demons to betray each other, that Geoffrey has always been suspicious, and that he wishes he'd been able to watch. He tries reaaaaaally hard to be casual even though it has him so upset he started crying about it. Which he also denies.

WHAT HE LEARNED:
☣ Stupid Geoffrey >8|
☣ Trust issues LEVEL UP
☣ ...but he's fairly sure that he didn't fire Geoffrey over it

Mao knew better than to trust Geoffrey; he's always known that, and he knows it in this memory. But all the same, Geoffrey was the only one he was really close to in the 200 years leading up to the beginning of the game, and finding out about this hurts his feelings so much he has to pretend he doesn't have feelings to be hurt. (Presumably that's why he repressed it to begin with).

It is important to note that it's the trust issues that bother him here, not the experimentation itself. That part did look pretty fun, and it annoys him that he was too drugged up to properly enjoy it. >8/a

( Obligatory post-GM-game thing )

( Original game stats )

So, translating and adjusting for bracer:

Hit Points: SSS
Magic Points: A
Strength: S
Defense: SSS
Magic: S
Magic Defense: SSS
Intelligence: A
Wisdom: F-
Will: S
Dexterity: B
Speed: B
Stamina: S
Health: S

Notes: I took 100% as a B. It's average in the game, but that's also an average for a Disgaea character, let alone a Disgaea main character, which by nature makes him more awesome than anything in the universe. Defensive stats are higher due to not being capped.

Memory 4 (Game 58): 4,000,000 hours down the drain

In this memory, Mao's dad crushes his game systems, and with them, 4 million hours of gameplay.

WHAT HE LEARNED:
۞ ...WELL I CAN SEE WHY I NEEDED TO KILL MY DAD >8|
۞ Tall Dad is tall. (If Mao's dad were human sized, humans would be the size of Tictacs)

Memory 5 (Game 59) Getting his ass kicked by Adell, and deciding to experiment on him to create THE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE UNIVERSE!!11

This is his cameo in Disgaea 2. He is a pain in the ass character to get (let us not discuss how many hours it took me), and when you finally reach him, he is on level 3200 and claims to be the last boss. He fights you with a bunch of cyborg Kurtis clones, and when Adell beats him, he is naturally very excited to take him home and see what makes him tick. Also has a delightful exchange where Adell asks him why he's breathing so heavily, and Mao replies, "Oh, I'm just turned on."

WHAT HE LEARNED:
۞ Yet more confirmation that MAO IS AWESOME FUCK YEAH MAO!!! (The phrase "strongest overlord in the universe" is thrown around. By Mao himself.)
۞ Adell is an exciting specimen huff huff huff
۞ Mao is the principal. Geoffrey is there.*

* This fact will confuse the hell out of him later, particularly since Disgaea 2 uses a different ending than the one in Mao's memory registry (split up into happy-sig and neutral-sig memories). I considered changing endings, since he hasn't gotten his endgame memories yet, but I like the normal ending better than the "good" one, and also he's a Disgaea character so I could add all the endings and it probably wouldn't matter. I MAY WELL DO THAT AT SOME POINT especially the one where he thinks Laharl is his dad. |D

STATE OF THE NETHERWORLD FORTHCOMING

I need to essay on Mao because of Zack leaving and also his new memories, but for now, here's something that brought me joy:

Mao's unique skills are Blast Finger, Shine Beam, and Vasa Aergun. Today I thought I'd look up the Japanese versions to see what they originally were (especially "Vasa Aergun," because seriously, what the fuck is that?), and here is what I found:

English: Blast Finger
Japanese: 弾けろ！五指爆星 (Blast! Five Finger Explosion Star)

English: Shine Beam
Japanese: 輝け！閃光抹殺ビーム (Shine! Flashing Eradication Beam)

English: Vasa Aergun
Japanese: ヴァサ・アエグルン (Vasa Aegurun)

The first two names go from being vaguely bland to being AMAZING and really showing off the "made in my dad's basement while drinking Mountain Dew" nature of Mao's unique attacks. But the mystery of "Vasa Aegurun" only deepens! It makes even LESS sense than before! I feel like it's referencing something I don't know, and the only thing my dictionary had to say was that "aegu" is to gasp or breathe hard. IDK MAN.

In other news, I really need to have Mao make up some new special attacks in Sabra. >8)

[There is a JOURNAL, with a brown cover. It has a very manly bunny rabbit on it.

You can write in it, read it, or leave it alone.]

A small sample of things Mao will willingly consume, taken from a list of Disgaea items:

☢ ABC Gum
☢ Garlic water
☢ Yam starch
☢ Dried worms
☢ Caterpillar eggs
☢ Charred newts
☢ Chicken blood
☢ Snake kidneys
☢ Yummy kimchee (this is in the same category as snake kidneys and chicken blood in-game)
☢ Frog sweat
☢ Eggs, sunny-side up, with salt and pepper or soy sauce, but definitely not hot sauce
☢ Spider web cookies

I wonder if he likes soup made out of human souls... maybe that's just Etna :|a

Of course, he won't eat things unless they've been properly prepared for him. He's not an animal. >8F

S-somehow Mao is my sane and well-adjusted one. \o/;;

GENERAL

Mao's been in Sabra for around 12 days, and he's doin' just fine. Even though he's died a couple of times, he's not the sort to let that get to him. Actually, about the only thing that's really unsettled him thus far is the way Zack and Squall act about getting their memories, and even then, he doesn't quite know what to do with the information, so he just kinda ignores it. He gets along with his team as well as can be expected, is attached to Almaz, and even formed what may actually be a genuinely healthy relationship with Zack. Basically, he's as good-natured and friendly as he is ever going to be, and will probably remain that way until he starts getting memories back and the ol' "I CAN'T TRUST ANYONE ALL HUMANS AND HEROES WILL BETRAY ME DEMONS ARE ALONE FOREVER!!!! >8|!!!!!" complex kicks in.

UNIT

Zack is the only one he even remotely listens to. He fights with Mikaila and Tailmon constantly, and goes out of his way to annoy Squall. But even having said that, he likes all of them, craves their attention, and will protect them if necessary.

OFFSCREEN

Mao is kind of a homebody. He'll go out if he gets bored, but overall he spends most of his time in his room, playing with his chemistry set or Operation game or whatever other weird things he's picked up in the caves. He already has Super's tentacle preserved in a beaker. It's not unusual for him to 'nap' through a day or two, or be up for several days at a time, particularly if he has the opportunity to be asleep while needed, or to make a whole lot of noise in the middle of the night.

He also never bathes. Have fun with that.

Mao's theme song
MORE COWBELL!!!

( Lyrics (for my own reference) )

TRANSRATION:

Intoxicated in a sweet dream
Those frail humans
A messenger judges them from the darkness
Our chosen child
He's not someone who cries for the dead
Nor one to linger over goodbyes
As long as there's someone to clean up the bodies
He has no use for the rest of us
Lives as selfishly as he likes
Not even our very lives are something he would regret
That's a demon's dandyism
That's the Netherworld's mechanism
Give a bouquet to the outlaw
Putting on airs is his way of life
The last king, proudly falling